Hey everyone it’s me Tina Capo! Here with 3 fresh hot reviews for anyone ready to read. I’m a mobile girl, I’m not ashamed to say that my parents have money and that’s why I feel like I have the best opinion to be able to review this world because I get to live in the best version of it.
SHOW ME YOUR BEST AMERICA!!!
Spirit Airlines – Firstly hey spirit, thanks for being the cheapest airline travel in America. I love it, seriously. There are fewer ways for me to be able to get the most bang for my buck and you guys are the ones giving me all those bucks. But just because you’re cheap, doesn’t mean you have to be cheap.
The best way for me to fly on your airline is if I pop a bunch of sleeping pills before stepping on there because I literally always have a panic attack. It’s like if fisher price made an airline and the engine was made of all the burbling sounds a kid makes when he’s pretending to be flying.
You don’t have to pretend Spirit. You are a real airline, act like it!!!
Miami – Dear Miami, what’s up. You have some of the most attractive people on this planet. And they are always at the beach and they are always wearing, like, no clothing at all. It’s amazing and I love it. It’s super hot.
No really, it’s insanely hot here. How do you guys live down here at all, it makes sense why no one has any clothes because any cloth would evaporate under this insane heat. I think you should really consider investing in the opposite of magnifying glasses because if you could point some of this insane sun at anything else, it would make it much easier for me to avoid all of the burns I got in between walking from my hotel to my car rental.
Just because it’s the land of feugo, does not mean that you have to literally be on fire!!!
New York Taxi Service – You guys get me. If I wanted to pay someone to sit around in traffic all day trying to pass jokes at me, I’d rent an uber. I want to go fast and I want to get where I’m going. I don’t want somebody who will spend their time getting to know me.
I love it when you go insanely fast and totally break several rules if it means getting me to my location faster. Come on guys, twenties are one’s in New York and I have no intention of waiting around for my trust fund to accumulate. I need to go out, have fun and make bank. You guys keep doing you!
You’re the best in the world, expand already so the rest of the world can be faster!!!
That’s it for the first batch, next time I’ll be reviewing candles or something, probably not, I’ll have to wait and see.
Kthnxbai, Tina .