Hey guys, I’m doing like an internet marketing thing right now and so I’m just trying to make sure that everything is cool and stuff. So here I go, we’re going to talk about GoDaddy and KEYWORDS. I want to be able to rank for SEO and stuff. I don’t know; more people should read my stuff because I’m smart.
GoDaddy – Dear GoDaddy. I’ve got a few things I need to get off my chest. First, when you advertise that you sell your domains for like ten bucks, why don’t you advertise that your crappy service offers practically THE SAME PRICE AS Everyone else? Seriously! Had I just done the research and gone with Host Gator or Blue Host instead of you and your frizzy headed stupid little logo.
What kind of name is GoDaddy anyway? Is that supposed to be misogynistic? That you’re “the best” Because you’re a man? I’m sick of your service; I’m sick of your prices, and I don’t like the attitude your customer service reps gave me when I called about a very basic and legitimate question!
WordPress – WordPress, you’re awesome. I don’t know why the two of us didn’t meet sooner, but I can tell that you’re a keeper. I love the way that you’re easy to use. You’re fun to be around, and you make me feel good about being me instead of judging me or making me feel stupid. You’re amazing. It’s like I’m with another person sometimes.
Who won’t stop talking! What is going on with the comments for this site? Seriously! Is there some weird problem where people will just constantly try to comment on my site instead of on the facebook account? And what’s this I read about hackers being able to get in through the comments? You’d think that you’d be able to fix such a gaping problem with the infrastructure of your hardware already but no!
Hard Pressed to find a better service!
Social Agency – These guys helped me design my site, and they were super awesome with it. Not only were they able to make it look cool and have a cool layout with all my favorite tunes. But they put a little cartoon me at the bottom version of the post! So cute!
I will say however that I think it’s awfully suspicious that you guys make a cute little pixel version of me, and there’s also a cute little pixel version of your guy on your website too. I admire the effort, I do, but I’m not seeing anyone right now and next time a simple text message would have worked.
Social Agency, dating latency.
– They say you’re the king of SEO and that if you want to get anywhere on the internet, you have to get through Google. I just don’t get why you don’t advertise premium services already and bridge the already wide gap of favoritism you clearly have over your competitors.
I don’t need to Ask Jeeves why you Yahoos think it’s funny to bing my page as being spam, but I hate it, and I hate you!
If you liked this blog post make sure to like it, comment, and follow me on twitter, or not cause I don’t care, you’re all worthless in my eyes.