Woooo lucky number 10! We’re going to celebrate by talking about random obscure things from inside the office building I’m currently in. I’m stuck following my dad around as he ‘shows me the ropes.’
Elevators – Who doesn’t love pressing all of those buttons?! The way they light up and then take you to that floor, it’s such a smart piece of technology and simple too! It’s one of my favorite things in the worlds and elevators are amazing but not as good as escalators!
That being said when some stupid little kid gets on my elevator and then starts pressing the buttons I get so mad. My daddy and I were riding in one, and it was like take your child to work day cause some little kid came in and pressed all the buttons, so I had his mommy fired immediately, I argued for without pay but dad said it was unethical. So is having kids.
Interns – Interns are great, they just do whatever you ask, and they always seem so happy to be there. I found one that was even unpaid, how does that even happen in the middle of Manhattan! This is crazy and amazing!
However, if they ever get my order wrong at Starbucks I will do everything in my power to make sure that I can get away with murder because it’s infuriating how they can’t remember that I get a Quad Iced Venti, but in a trendy cup, vanilla latte with coconut milk but if they’re out use soy, with ristretto shots floated on top and if they don’t do the latter and give you a hard time then just ask for a Trenta iced coffee with four shots and extra soy milk. Duh. Super easy.
Interns, I’m glad they’re not getting paid because they are not cool.
Colo CSX – Yeah I’m taking notes. Of course, I’m taking voice notes ‘what did I just say’ you just said that it’s called the colo CSX. That’s not true I said that the colo CSX was the company we buy it from. They sell us colocation services, are you even paying attention? Yes, I’m paying attention I’m just taking voice notes, see? I’m not going to be around forever. I know daddy but trust me I’m totally listening. They like move stuff for us. Please put the phone down and take notes. Fine God!
Side note thank you Apple Voice Notes.
Chipotle – Best food ever omg. Some people like it because it’s a lot of food for cheap. I like it because the steak is divine. I could eat just the steak for days. If they could somehow come up with a way to make steak Twinkies, I would literally die and come back so I could enslave the world with my zombified corpse and have them make me the Chipotwinkie Steak wrap forever.
Hey, I’m getting bored of the reviewing thing process, so if you guys want a review or something go to Forbes or something, I don’t know. If you guys have a problem with it I can take your reviews of the lawsuit, I’ll be sending you